Wallowing in self-doubt and self-pity
I’ve been a published author for 21 days.
A self-pubbed author.
I can honestly say that this is the hardest I’ve ever “worked” before. I put in more time promoting, marketing, and writing than I do at my day job.
This is hard. It’s very hard.
I’ve been really down on myself lately. My sales aren’t quite what I hoped for. I knew I wasn’t coming out of the gate as a best seller. I don’t think that will ever happen. Do I wish for it? Yep, will it happen? Probably not.
I admit, I wallow in self-pity and self-doubt. What I do, it’s not glamorous or exciting. It’s tireless, payless work. Most times I feel so useless. It’s like the hard work, the tears, the brain power, everything I worked on means nothing.
But don’t feel sorry for me. I knew going into this that it would be hard. I knew that this was going to be a long road, and those self-pub successes were far and few between.
This is not a get rich quick scheme as so many think. While it is “easy”, it’s hard. For writers who take their craft seriously, who want to put out the best product they can.
The only thing I want is for people to read my books and enjoy them. That’s what most of us want, for people to enjoy the story that is hiding in us.
So I’m going to go sit in the corner of my couch with a notebook, pencil, and wallow in a bit of self-doubt while I refresh my smashwords, Kindle, and Createspace accounts to see if I sell at least 1 book today.