The tortured soul
The creative person tends to be a tortured soul. A person who struggles with decisions, life, and their craft. Perhaps it’s only natural for us. We are plagued by our craft whether it be writing, art, or music.
We can’t seem to live in peace. We turn to alcohol, some turn to drugs, and others to meaningless sex. Our spirits are in conflict with everything. We try to seek meaning in our lives and in this world. Many are self-destructive. The emotional state of permanent angst we live in can be overwhelming not only for ourselves but also for those around us.
I’m one of the fortunate tortured souls. I have found someone who is just as tortured if not more than I. We understand the pain that the other experiences, even if we don’t say anything. While we have different types of torment that keep us awake at night, we are there for one another. He keeps me sane. I imagine it’s hard for anyone who hasn’t experienced something traumatic or is the creative sort to know just what we go through.
The stories that run through my head everyday only seem to be their best when I am sorts with myself. I can’t explain why I only seem to do my best work when I’m at my worst. When my mind is in conflict and the is some turmoil in my heart.
Why are so many of the creative ilk thought to be tortured? Maybe it’s because no story, painting, or song exists without conflict. A tortured soul is familiar with the internal and external conflict that gives us an edge over others with a more sane/normal mind. We, authors at least, have a tendency to write what we know. What makes for an interesting story line? Something that is all happy and gumdrops? Or something that stirs the many different feelings that reside in your own heart. The agony, the sadness, some happiness, pity, and general emotions. We can write the darkest of pieces that seem to suck your soul out. As writers we have the propensity to live in our heads too much.
We’re tortured souls who channel it into our work. No matter what that work is.